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    23/09/2007

    安静 放肆 盛开

    看到上边照片的时候,我突然想起了法国。幻想着在这家明亮的屋子里,什么也不做,
    只是很舒服的坐着,然后,没心没肺的傻傻发呆。可惜,在我的城市至今没有发现这
    样的地方。让我感到温暖。门前要有上了年纪的大树和绿的透不进阳光的叶子。对面
    是来自上个世纪的德国建筑,红砖白窗。每当我路过这里的时候,只要一抬头都会认
    出门上的门牌。侍者已经和我很熟悉,他们每次都会不声不响地调制出美妙的冷饮还
    有我喜欢的甜点。在深秋的周末。一切都已准备好,包括心情。我决定把自己的身子
    打开,尽情地放纵自己。感谢杲杲的背景音乐,让我在这个嘈杂的环境里还会相信有
    干净的......数次的努力,浸泡在汗水和喘息声中,我忘记了我已不再单纯爱幻想。
    我试着去触摸自己的身体,却发现离它越来越远。绝望中,我不经意看到了天花板上
    华丽的灯饰。多么漂亮!感觉身体已经打开,从没有过的柔软。再一次努力,我闭上
    双眼,却看到了常在梦中看到的暗红色花朵,看满整个房间。轻微的颤抖,我觉察到。
    碰触到了身体的尽头。音乐开始想起。旧旧的留声机,在午夜。我懒懒的躺在柔软的
    大床上,想起了我的爱人。辗转反侧,发现一切都是幻象。我无法抑制幻象控制着我。
    只好,顺着幻象的轨迹把自己遗弃在深夜的高速公路上,任放肆的想法无羁的狂奔。
    我发现,已经追不上自己的身体。午夜里,摸出香烟,很优雅地点上了,放肆的吐着
    眼圈,向黑暗炫耀我的寂寞!寂寞改不了我的。我深知。而且,我想下一个黎明,我
    将离开这里,重新面对尘嚣和繁忙,做回那个没有思想没有理想麻木不仁的自己。

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